Discover more from Gander in London
An homage to Anne Rice
I hadn’t much knowledge or interest in BDSM when a friend sent me ‘Exit From Eden’, written by Anne Rice, was a towering giant in the genre of vampire fiction, under a pseudonym as befits this foray into erotic fiction centered on the hitherto unknown (to me) world of ‘slave training’ and voluntary servitude. This ‘My Mistress’ monograph attempts to assume the character and voice of one of Ms Rice’s subjects, while much is drawn from my own experience….
I came to this position by accident. Really. Had I rationally considered employment that required me to obey, without question, the dictates of an autocratic and demanding superior, to be available at any hour, sometimes for many hours, to perform whatever duties were assigned to me, and for such meager recompense, I would have dismissed the notion without further inquiry. I find, however and conversely, that I have found my vocation, my calling. Perhaps ‘my devotion’ is the more apt term?
I am the subordinate, servant, factotum, for my Mistress. I have held this position for one year now and I have no ambition for either promotion or termination, or any other alteration of my role or responsibilities. This is my life.
My duties are varied and numerous: many are performed at my Mistress’s home office, which I am responsible for cleaning - daily, and in between appointments - stocking with food which I must procure according to my Mistress’s highly specific requirements at local markets, specialty foods stores or, for several rare items, source and ship from producers in remote parts of the country. (My Mistress does not tolerate sub-standard or non-conforming foods, and while outwardly gracious and indulgent of those unfortunates whose standards allow them to consume processed products that are high in fat, sugar, alcohol, and other non-functional calories, she is inwardly disdainful of such practices). I am also responsible for maintaining my Mistress’s extensive and unusual ensemble of work attire: her business activities require her to assume many diverse roles, sometimes several in a given day, and each must be costumed with exactitude and refinement – although the materials may vary from the most exquisite and exotic leather, fur, and fabrics, to the flimsiest, cheapest, most vulgar plastics and other synthetics.
Most of my Mistress’s work is conducted outside the home office – in client meetings throughout the city and, sometimes, around the world. In addition, my Mistress has unrelated and quite different business activities which are conducted from a professional office in the most prestigious address. I am never permitted to enter, or even approach, this latter location thus to ensure complete separation between the worlds inhabited by my Mistress. They shall never collide.
My Mistress is of striking appearance, but hard to define and somehow transcendent of the individual components of body, legs, face, eyes, breasts, and hair. My Mistress has a chameleon-like ability to assume different appearances, different postures, and different personalities. One of the rewards of my devotion is that I often witness the transformations that my Mistress conjures, from naked skin to outward perfection, resulting in an authentic nurse, or doctor, or chief executive, or athlete, or prison warden, or streetwalker, or concubine, or film star, or school mistress, or princess (and this is to name but a few of my Mistress’s personae). I am constantly mesmerized by the metamorphosis.
My Mistress’s attitude toward me, oft concealed within a shield of aloof autocracy, is kindly and reasonable. Except when I earn punishment, which is swiftly, harshly, and painfully administered, my Mistress ensures that my working conditions are comfortable. I have learned much in this role, and I feel that my Mistress has been a fine mentor for me.
One task that has been occasionally assigned to me is to assist my Mistress in the development of student proteges that my Mistress mentors, earning lucrative fees for this highly specialized and unique service. After the students complete their foundation courses and basic skills training, I will be assigned to play the role of client, and I may be charged with emulating an experienced and skillful partner, or sometimes an inexperienced, clumsy, and vulgar ingenue. I must also, when required, provide the student with practice at some extremely unusual activities. My Mistress observes the student’s performance throughout, making copious notes. I accept and endure these roles as I must, and admittedly derive some satisfaction when asked to compare and evaluate a student’s skill level for their final graduation.
Yet another reward, and one in which I must conceal my pleasure from my Mistress for fear of certain painful punishment, is in performing my duty of laundering my Mistress’s underwear and linens. As I hand-wash the lingerie (which may be exquisitely expensive and exotic nothingness, or simple cotton briefs, or technical athletic apparel), I bring each to my nose and mouth and inhale deeply. I can discern, with certainty, my Mistress’s mood when the garment was worn and even the activities that took place immediately before or during its wearing. These scents – secretly- evoke powerful emotions and stir strong feelings within me.
Bed linens tell yet more stories: after use they frequently carry soiled, apparently by bodily excretions, sometimes still moist; each speak clearly of physical exertions and primal fulfillment. As I load the linens into the washer, I am inexorably drawn, as with the underwear, to breathe deeply in them and permit their histories to implant themselves in my imagination. I must hasten to add that this sensory cornucopia is my only witness to my Mistress’s work with our clients: I must always absent myself from the office for the duration of meetings. (This is not true of the external meetings that I am required to attend, where my active participation may be required in quite any function. But, as I have said, any concomitant familiarity terminates with the meetings, and no reference whatsoever to these activities may be made afterward.)
On occasion, I am required to accompany my Mistress to a business function. In this role, I am instructed to act the part of a companion, or partner, or sometimes even a client – but only for the duration of the meeting: any familiarity that may be appropriate for the temporary assignment is immediately dispelled once the meeting is concluded, and I return to my humble station as servant. Sometimes my external assignments will call for me to be dressed in formalwear, sometimes in quite exotic costumes that my Mistress provides, and sometimes I am required to interact with clients, servants, guests, or business associates.
With some trepidation, I shall violate my obligation of discretion. I shall describe one external duty that I was required to perform. My instructions were to prepare myself for a late evening’s assignment, for which I would be attired in a tailcoat, a chain not unlike a mayoral chain of office, and underneath this a black - - I can only describe it as a ‘cat suit’. With plain black dress shoes, of course. It turned out that I was to create the impression on the guests at this soiree that I was my Mistress’s butler – not inaptly.
After arriving at the host residence, I quickly assessed the assembled personnel and their roles – servants and guests, amateurs and professionals, in the tableau: fourteen guests and six servants, whose responsibilities were to greet guests, take coats, tend bar, circulate with refreshments on trays, collect empties, and stock and distribute various recreational supplies and equipment. The servants were comprised equally of men and women, all of us of ‘mature’ age, while the guests numbered eight men and six women, both sexes represented by all ages between, I should say, mid-twenties to mid-sixties.
The early stages of the evening could have been mistaken for a diplomatic reception (for all I know, it was a diplomatic reception). Only the guests’ clothing would have belied this impression: the women’s revealed proclivities, or anatomy, and sometimes both, that would have raised eyebrows and blood pressure had they been displayed in public. The men, in contrast, began the evening with considerable decorum and elegance in their couture.
I am uncertain of the signal that triggered the change in the guests’ demeanor and the ambience of the room – perhaps there was a discrete chime, or a change in the music, or lighting, which had dimmed? In any event, the guests formed into a single group and there followed a brief, inconclusive, discussion before my Mistress assumed – not to my surprise – the role of organizer. The guests were formed into four groups, two groups with two men and one woman, two groups with two men and two women. Each group was then dispatched to a separate room – bedrooms, as it turned out – on the same floor of the residence. My duties, as with the other servants, was to attend the rooms, bringing refreshments and supplies, and otherwise facilitate the guests’ activities.
Over the course of the next hour, having attended to each of the rooms, I had learned that each was equipped with a variety of equipment for bondage: cuffs, straps, gags, and suspension devices. Motorized tools, the like of which I had not before seen, were also provided, along with lubricants, and copious supplies of prophylactics. I later observed that these consumable supplies were consumed in improbable quantities throughout the course of the evening.
The reader will naturally, and correctly, have assumed that I could not avoid observing my Mistress’s participation in the guests’ activities. And I must confess to feeling (always silent and private) pride to the skill, energy, versatility, and creativity, with which my indefatigable Mistress entertained the other guests. I will also confess to certain possessive feelings toward my Mistress. I knew, however, that no reference should ever be made to my observations and sentiments, however complimentary.
An hour after the guests had retired to their designated bedrooms, the lights throughout the residence flickered briefly and activities ceased while the guests detached themselves from any equipment and dressed themselves back into their suits and costumes. They reassembled in the main reception room where my Mistress, who looked remarkably composed given her recent extreme exertions, reassigned the groups and once again dispatched them to the bedrooms to continue their activities in new teams.
The second retreat very much resembled the first, although it seemed to me that the guests’ activities had become, if plausible, even less restrained. And, once again, after a further hour had passed, the lights had flickered and the guests had dressed and reassembled as a group. At this point two of the gentlemen guests announced they were exhausted and would prefer to ‘sit out’ of round three. My Mistress, always ready with a solution to really quite any problem, arched an eyebrow, pondered for a moment, then indicated to me: ‘my servant will substitute for these gentlemen and entertain you two ladies. I expect that you will be pleased with him’ ushering me toward what appeared to be the youngest and the most mature of the female guests.
Discretion forbids me to disclose the details of the activities in which I was required to participate – sufficient to say that it was highly educational for the variety of ways in which women may enjoy inflicting and receiving apparently painful stimulation, and in the ways they can employ a man’s genital organs for their pleasure. So intense was the experience, in fact, that it did not seem untoward when the women ordered one of the attending male servants to copulate with me for their voyeuristic pleasure. Accordingly, and I will disclose just this one detail, as the ladies reclined together and stimulated themselves, we took turns in sodomizing the other and, when the ladies exhorted us to ‘come, come!’, we obeyed with thankful relief.
The soiree concluded shortly after that final act. I accompanied my Mistress home, prepared a bath, and assisted my Mistress undress. I found myself to be somewhat discomforted by the raw marks evidently made by bondage on wrists, ankles, thighs, and breasts, and also by the bruises made by vigorous physical contact with the genitals and buttocks of this body to which I had pledged my devoted service. These would require my careful attention and treatment if my Mistress’s preparedness for her clients was to be unimpaired, and my Mistress’ standards - that every client experience only perfection in all aspects - be unremittingly maintained. I knew also that, on this occasion, laundry would yield for me remarkable pleasures.
After completing a year of exemplary service (which even my Mistress has deemed ‘satisfactory’), I was entrusted with a new assignment: that of ghostwriter – or ‘guest editor’ for my Mistress’s blog. Let me explain that my Mistress’s business is developed by maintaining a strong, targeted, online presence that includes regular episodes of a ‘blog’, which purports to be a recounting of encounters and incidents from my Mistress’s work, as well as various musings on natural history, human behaviors and values, and other topics that have been found to interest our desired clientele. My challenge is to ensure that my ghostwritten stories are as articulate, forceful, erudite, and evocative as is my Mistress. My conceit is that I succeed in this endeavor, although it would be a grave error to allow this breach in my humble demeanor to come to the attention of my Mistress. The work itself is unusually enjoyable and stimulating: my Mistress has deemed that the stories be based in fact, and I must therefore derive the essential facts and ‘bones’ of each episode from those that my Mistress deigns to share with me. I then take this bare skeleton and adorn it with colour and embellish with details that erupt, vividly and quite naturally, from my imagination. If I may do so discretely and undetected by my Mistress, I masturbate repeatedly while documenting each episode of the blog (but never, of course, during my monthly week of abstinence, as I must now explain).
I have referred to my week of abstinence. One of my periodic duties is to prepare my Mistress for her meetings with client S. Client S. is a man of middle-eastern origin who has visited my Mistress over many years during his monthly business meetings in London. He is a man of very particular and specific tastes that my Mistress indulges due to his significant considerable economic contribution to their association. Client S.’s particular proclivity – at least the one of which I have inevitably become aware – is that he obtains gratification from ‘cleaning up’ my Mistress. Specifically, he is compelled to orally cleanse, and ingest semen from, my Mistress’s vagina. I should further clarify: only semen that emanates from a third party is suitable for this purpose.
My duty – my Mistress would say my privilege – is to charge my Mistress’s vagina with the requisite semen before each meeting with Client S. The procedure strictly follows a prescribed ritual: firstly, my conditions of engagement permit me no similar contact with any other person for the duration of my tenure – and this must be evidenced by a doctor’s certificate every month; secondly, I must abstain from ejaculation during the week prior to the performance of this duty so as to reserve a copious quantity for this purpose; thirdly, I am not permitted to speak, or to have skin-on-skin contact with my Mistress during this procedure other than that necessary to execute the copulation. Dressed typically in professional blouse and skirt, my Mistress bends over her desk, busying herself with email or messages and sometimes making shopping lists. Following the prescribed routine, I lift the skirt above my Mistress’s slender waist, guide my penis between the exposed round buttocks and insert it into my Mistress’s prominently exposed vagina - which I have found on each such occasion, to my private gratification, to be very wet, open, and ready to receive me. Following my instructions faithfully, I bring myself to ejaculate as quickly and efficiently, and soundlessly, as possible. I should perhaps mention that this result is facilitated by the exceptional elasticity and muscular constriction of my Mistress’s vagina. Occasionally, and particularly when I fear that I may be taking an unacceptable amount of time to finish, I imagine that I have entered my Mistress anally, which, I am certain would grip my penis equally firmly. This image reliably concludes the operation underway. Notwithstanding the release that I feel throughout my entire body during my copious ejaculation, I can permit no evidence of pleasure to escape me, knowing well that the least infringement will be met with stern admonishment and deserved punishment. The moment I have completed my assigned task, I must withdraw and retreat to my corner. I feel both proud and demeaned - and with a certain empathy toward breeding farm animals.
I reflect that my station is one of enviable privilege. Pervious incumbents – and my Mistress has revealed their identities to me in absolute confidence that I cannot breach – occupy prominent positions in the arts, athletics, politics, military service, the church, and commerce. I am confident in the training and preparation with which my Mistress has imbued me. While my demeanor toward my Mistress is consistently humble and respectful, my self-esteem and self-knowledge has grown every day to become the man I am today, capable of confronting every challenge and seize every opportunity as I choose. My gratitude is incalculable.